Follow the author
Cathie Borrie
The Long Hello: Memory, My Mother, and Me
by Cathie Borrie (Author) Format: Hardcover
3.7 3.7 out of 5 stars (311)
A powerful, ground-shifting account of caring for a parent with Alzheimer's about which Maya Angelou exclaimed, Joy!
Since Cathie Borrie delivered her keynote performance at the World Alzheimer's Day event sponsored by the Community and Access Programs of the Museum of Modern Art, her self-published manuscript has won rapturous praise from noted writers and Alzheimer's experts alike, from Maya Angelou, Lisa Genova, and Molly Peacock to Dr. Bill Thomas, Jed A. Levine of the Alzheimer's Association, NYC, and Meryl Comer of the Geoffrey Beene Foundation Alzheimer's Initiative. Now it is available to the general public for the first time in a trade edition.
The Long Hello distills the seven years the author spent caring for her mother into a page-turning memoir that offers insight into the altering world of the dementia mind. During that time, Borrie recorded brief conversations she had with her mother that revealed the transformations within--and sometimes yielded an almost Zenlike poetry. She includes selections from them in chapters about her experience that are as evocative as diary entries. Her mother was the emotional pillar and sometime breadwinner in a home touched by a birth father's alcoholism, a brother's early death, divorce, and a stepfather's remoteness. In Borrie's spare prose, her mother's story becomes a family's story as well a deeply loving portrait that embraces life.
===
Product description
Review
A sparse yet deeply affecting, poetic story of love and devotion . . . revealing moments of clarity, absurdity, wisdom, and connection that pierce and heal the heart. --Lisa Genova
Joy! --Maya Angelou
Cathie Borrie is a great writer, and her exploration of life with Alzheimer's is deep, rich, nuanced, and soulful. --Dr. Bill Thomas, author of Second Wind
The Long Hello is a graceful dance between mother and daughter through the ever-changing rhythms of Alzheimer's disease. Beautiful and profound in its telling, this story reveals the depth of poetry and creativity that the changing brain can muster along its journey. One of my favorite books on the topic! --G. Allen Power, MD, author of Dementia Beyond Drugs and Dementia Beyond Disease
Caregivers will recognize themselves both in the mix of light moments of connection, and in the darker, unspeakable, intolerable emotions. . . . Borrie finds poetry in her mother's language, and teaches us all important lessons about the human experience of caring. . . A beautifully written meditation on memory loss, suffering, hope, and love. --Jed A. Levine, Executive Vice President and Director, Programs and Services, Alzheimer's Association, New York City Chapter
The Long Hello is an exceptional book about caring for people with dementia that offers a paradigm-shifting approach to maintaining relationship. Cathie Borrie enters deeply into her mother's world, and a poetic dialogue of mutual love and respect is the result. Should be required reading for everyone caring for people with dementia, and included in the syllabus of healthcare professionals learning how to do so. --Marc Wortmann, Executive Director, Alzheimer's Disease International
Cathie Borrie has learned to respect the wisdom in her mother's free associations. The Long Hello will touch deeply all who love. --Naomi Feil, author of Validation: The Feil Method and The Validation Breakthrough and founder and director in chief of the Validation Training Institute
Cathie's book, The Long Hello, is one of the finest examples currently available illustrating the kind of dignity-promoting, compassionate care which should be the heart and soul of the culture change movement. The warmth of her story combats the cold realities of ageism and negative stigma that have characterized the Alzheimer's and dementia world for too long. . . . I believe that Cathie's book should be made available to all caregivers, both lay and professional, as well as policy makers, researchers, and anyone else who advocates for this cause. --Daniel C. Potts, MD, FAAN, Attending Neurologist, Tuscaloosa VA Medical Center, Founder and President, Cognitive Dynamics Foundation, Medical Director, Dementia Dynamics, LLC
The book's highly literary vision of disease is a powerful challenge to more detached clinical observations . . . By approaching a parent's Alzheimer's in the spirit of hello rather than goodbye, Borrie is predisposed to pay attention-yet even then she's astonished at the words that emerge from her mother's mouth, almost as if aging could unlock the imagination and unleash a verbal force held back by logic and rationality. --John Allemang, Globe and Mail
Borrie captures the familiar cadence of repetition and the bizarre, yet touching conversations we share. We must live in their reality if we are to comfort them, and Cathie shows us how it can be done with love. --Meryl Comer, President, Geoffrey Beene Foundation Alzheimer's Initiative; Emmy-award winning reporter, producer, moderator, talk show host; caregiver; and Alzheimer's Association Board Member
Cathie Borrie's groundbreaking lyrical memoir, The Long Hello, utilizes arrestingly poetic prose to create an ideological sea change in the way in which individuals and society at large view the experience of Alzheimer's, shinning new light on the rich emotional and intellectual ways of being that are newly possible in the altering world of the dementia mind. --Francesca Rosenberg, Director, Community and Access Programs, Museum of Modern Art
A moving and amazing breakthrough of a book. --Lynn Jackson, Co-founder of the Dementia Advocacy and Support Network International (DASNI)
Ebullient, feisty, vulnerable, and dumbstruck by the circumstances of her life, Cathie Borrie uses the magical lens of her mother's Alzheimer's disease to examine her role of dutiful daughter. With her theatrical sense of timing. . . and her skill as a poet, Borrie writes a page-turning memoir of a whole family. . . I read this book right straight through, with all the other things I had to do, standing at attention for The Long Hello . . . Miraculously, Borrie both replicates her mother's thinking and used it as a threshold into her own remembering. --Molly Peacock, author of Paradise, Piece by Piece and The Paper Garden: Mrs. Delany Begins Her Life's Work at 72
A masterpiece. . . An absorbing and fascinating account, beautifully written and of value to all engaged in the care of Alzheimer's patients-from care-giving relatives to those providing medical and social services to the ever-growing number of patients. -Dr. D.A. Henderson, Professor of Medicine and Public Health, University of Pittsburgh; and University Distinguished Service Professor and Dean Emeritus, the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health
What Cathie Borrie did for her mother was wonderful. . . . What she has done for readers is inspiring. The actions are matched by the luminous prose. This book is memoir at its best. --Vancouver Sun
The Long Hello is an amazing neo-existentialist vision, profoundly layered with love, death, agony, exquisite language, loneliness, and more love. I was overwhelmed by the filmic, sensuous imagery, the emotional force of such a raw interweaving of past and present. From somewhere (out t)here, Cathie Borrie has created a book of shimmering truth, a narrative of a life lived where we are, and a life lived on "the other side of here." --Christian Xatrec, artist, Director of the Emily Harvey Foundation, NYC
Toward the end, as her mother copes with a brutal cough, Borrie gently touches her chest: Is there enough compassion in there? her mother asks. Yes, Mum, Borrie answers. It's full, beautiful. The same can be said for her daughter's remarkable book. --Anne Kingston, Maclean's
Filled with insights that will be of interest to caregivers and their families. Lyrical and evocative, it is about remembering and forgetting, presence and absence, holding on and letting go. . . . Cathie Borrie is a gifted storyteller, and she has written a memorable book about love and loss. --Jeffery Berman, author and Distinguished Teaching Professor of English at the State University of New York
Cathie Borrie's heart-warming message will have you finding joy as a caregiver--even in your darkest, most difficult times . . . I am very impressed with her ability to touch and inspire others. --Steve Harrison, Radio-TV Interview Report, Million Dollar Author Club
"Cathie Borrie's memoir The Long Hello gives hope to the many people who have a loved one living with memory loss. Her artistic response to being her mother's caregiver is a much-needed model for other caregivers. As the Executive Director and Founder of the Alzheimer's Poetry Project I believe her book and voice would be welcome and needed at conferences on Alzheimer's and related dementia." --Gary Glazner, Executive Director, The Alzheimer's Poetry Project
We are all dancers, whether secret or declared, moving to the ever-changing rhythmic tides and tensions of the human experience. In The Long Hello Cathie Borrie choreographs the changes in her mother's memory into a new way to see and be, illustrating the iridescent and persistent intelligence of the mind and the limitless wonder of our imagination. As dancers must do, she learns to release the choreography of the past and dance new steps to the shifting tune of her mother's journey through Alzheimer's, discovering an unexpected metaphor for her experience in the beauty of bodies in motion, made possible through the ability to love. --Elaine Summers, Fulbright Scholar, MIT Fellow, pioneering choreographer and intermedia artist; original member of the Judson Dance Theater, NYC
A moving, lyrical piece. . . --Michael Bennett, author and professor of English, Long Island University
The Long Hello is an account of Alzheimer's which, to my knowledge, is unique in its ambition and structure. First, because it undercuts current dialogue between mother and daughter with recreated accounts of their past life together. Secondly, because the daughter gives her insights into the seven-year caring process, and, through extracts from recorded conversations, we also gain the mother's perspective. But that is not all: miraculously, both individuals have deeply expressive ways of turning the highs and lows into poetry. The result is not only heartfelt and heartbreaking, but a considerable work of art. --John Killick, poet, Writer-in-Residence at the Dementia Services Development Centre, University of Stirling, UK
Some books simply must exist and this is one of them. In this fable-like memoir we encounter the fierce loyalty of a mother and daughter refusing the isolation of Alzheimer's. Inside their conversations we encounter a unique voice in memoir. The voice of a mother now unfettered by grammar and propriety: a candid, poetic, and surprisingly thought-provoking voice. In turn, we encounter a daughter taking her own liberties to reconstruct the abandoned, dead-ended family stories of which she is becoming the sole survivor. --Betsy Warland, nonfiction writer, poet, essayist, teacher, and editor; Director of The Writer's Studio at Simon Fraser University; author of eleven books of poetry and creative nonfiction, including Breathing the Page: Reading the Act of Writing
I have spent the last day immersed in The Long Hello. I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to be brought into the remarkable lives portrayed poetically and with raw honesty within these pages. It reminded me that amidst the pain and suffering, loss and grief that surround the experience of caring for a loved one with memory loss, there can still be joy, sustaining connections, deep love, and possibilities for seeing and being in new ways. If only we all had that capacity! --Sherry Dupuis Ph.D., Director, Murray Alzheimer Research and Education Program, Schlegel-UW Research Institute on Aging Faculty of Applied Health Sciences, University of Waterloo
Pitch perfect. The Long Hello is poignant, personal, and in many ways profound. As her story weaves between her life as a young girl being cared for by her mother and her adult life as a caregiver for her mother with Alzheimer's, we see unimagined parallels and witness extraordinarily moving moments in the interactions between mother and daughter. The poetic cadences of their conversations are by turns humorous, unsettling, comforting, and deep; one senses a marvelous dance or an intriguing improvisation unfolding before one's eyes. The author has given us a vivid sense of the frustrations one faces in caring for a person with dementia, but she has also revealed, in and through her mother, a beautifully poetic sensibility and a mind full of wonder, curiosity, and keen observation. --Dr. Charles Morrison, former Dean of Music, Professor of Music Theory, Wilfrid Laurier University, Waterloo, Ontario
Borrie writes beautifully . . . The Long Hello is honest, sensitive and poignant. --Henry Brodaty, Professor of Aging and Mental Health; Past Chair, Alzheimer's Disease International; Director, the Dementia Collaborative Research Centre, University of New South Wales, Australia
A loving, dutiful daughter writes about her desperate confrontation with her mother's Alzheimer's disease. . . . Though she holds degrees in public health and law, her vocation is clearly creative nonfiction. . . . As Borrie presents them, her mother's non sequiturs, surely a badge of Alzheimer's, make a wonderful kind of poetry, mysterious and even witty . . . a short, poignant record of two lives, a moving history of a mother and her child. --Kirkus
This is an excellent addition to public and consumer health library collections because it is not the typical caregiver manual. . . . An intensely intimate, literary tribute to a loving relationship that offers a glimpse into the demented mind. --Library Journal
A deep, moving, glorious book. --The Book Doctors, Huffington Post
About the Author
Cathie Borrie trained as a nurse in Vancouver and holds a Master of Public Health from Johns Hopkins University. She also graduated from the University of Saskatchewan with a degree in law, and she has studied creative writing at Simon Fraser University. She lives in North Vancouver.
Top
About this item
Similar
From the Author
Questions
Reviews
The Long Hello: Memory, My Mother, and Me
The Long Hello: Memory, My Mother, and Me
Product details
Publisher : Arcade Publishing
Publication date : 19 April 2016
===
From other countries
Lorrie Beauchamp
5.0 out of 5 stars but so very few books offer a poignant and personal glimpse into the mind of someone who is by the side of and watching a loved one's brain become unravelled
Reviewed in Canada on 18 May 2018
Verified Purchase
When I began my caregiving journey (both parents with dementia/Alzheimer's) three years ago, I was desperate to find something to help cope with the emotions I was processing; there are tons of books to tell you about the condition, the stages, the process, "how to manage", tips and tricks, etc., but so very few books offer a poignant and personal glimpse into the mind of someone who is by the side of and watching a loved one's brain become unravelled. As a writer, I'm also hyperselective about what I read. This book touched my heart with its vivid, heartfelt observations, simple images and lyrical approach to the art of deep loving. Cathie Borrie is an incredibly talented wordsmith and poet; with just a few words, she can evoke a world of sensory joy. I'm pretty sure I would read anything she writes. But it feels like I have found a soul-sister on the pages of this poignant little book, and together the author and I laughed, cried and shook our heads over the acceptance of "what is." I have read many more books on this topic since (they are trending these days, for good reason), but this one remains the most heartfelt and sincere that I have come across yet. Thank you, Cathie Borrie, for helping my heart open.
Report
Natalie J. Belle MD
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful and Joyous Celebration of Love between Mum and Daughter!
Reviewed in the United States on 8 September 2015
Verified Purchase
The Long Hello: Memory, My Mother and Me is an exquisitely-written memoir from author Cathie Borrie that contains amazing and witty insights from Ms. Borrie's Mum; made all the more extraordinary by the fact that Ms. Borrie's Mum is living with Alzheimer's Disease at the time these thoughts were recorded. I find myself reading this wonderful book many times as the joy and love between Mum and daughter are clearly evident in its pages. Also evident in these pages is the clear fact that even though Ms. Borrie's mother, Jo, may have lost her ability to remember recent events, Jo never lost her personality and ability to maintain a loving relationship with her daughter. This book is so very warm, wonderful and full of wisdom from Jo to her daughter Cathie to all of us and serves as a great reminder that while Alzheimer's Disease may take some aspects of our relationships with our loved ones, it can allow us to see and experience so much more richness and love.
Report
Carol Edwards
5.0 out of 5 stars Tears Of Joy
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 27 May 2019
Verified Purchase
When this book arrived I thought of my is this all it is, very small book with few pages. The poetry was exquisite and I loved the book. Read it the first time in one sitting, will read again and again, a must for anyone who knows or cares for someone with Dementia
Report
Jazziegirl
4.0 out of 5 stars It is a really good picture of what a typical patient goes through during ...
Reviewed in the United States on 13 February 2017
Verified Purchase
The author and her mother live in Canada. Mom has Alzhiemers and the daughter, Cathie records on paper and tape conversations during her years of care giving and then puts it down in book form. It is a really good picture of what a typical patient goes through during the process. Both of my parents died of Alzheimers and I was their care giver. Cathie writes some of her thoughts about that side of things and I could relate to it completely. This is a very quick read but it is a profound documentation of this disease.
Report
CAROL WATERMAN
4.0 out of 5 stars http: //www. amazon. ca/gp/product/1476792518?
Reviewed in Canada on 9 November 2015
Verified Purchase
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1476792518?redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0
Report
slow reader
3.0 out of 5 stars Sad story.
Reviewed in the United States on 1 February 2021
Verified Purchase
Sad story. Hard to read. I found writing style a little weird, but this could be the nature of trying to describe dementia.
Report
RW
3.0 out of 5 stars Good So Far
Reviewed in Canada on 20 April 2015
Verified Purchase
I am enjoying it so far. I will be back when I'm finished
Report
Carly
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on 20 May 2016
Verified Purchase
A touching story written in a beautiful prose.
Report
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars The Alzheimer's communication is worth understanding
Reviewed in the United States on 5 February 2021
Verified Purchase
The author was the caregiver for her mother, and was so intrigued by her creative alternative expressions she taped some of their conversations. The result is an warm and engaging book, enlightening for those who care about individuals with Alzheimer's. There can be far-reaching realizations unearthed from decades-old experiences, even if the narration might be difficult to follow. The author was kind enough to join our family book club group, and was a wonderful new acquaintance!
Report
bibliogrammie
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth of a deeper read
Reviewed in the United States on 3 August 2017
Verified Purchase
This is a subject to which I have personal connection and the second book of this type I have read. I'm looking for a validation I suppose and while this was well written it did not reach the level I hoped for. If you, however, are caregiver for a parent with dementia or Alzheimer's, this might help you to avoid the things I now look back on and wish I could have handled in a better way
Report
Elaine Sinclair
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
Reviewed in Canada on 6 June 2015
Verified Purchase
UGH
Report
P. K Sykes
2.0 out of 5 stars Two stars are generous!
Reviewed in the United States on 25 January 2017
Verified Purchase
Two stars for this book are generous! While many of the things the author's mother said are quite lyrical, it is hard to follow, as much of it is "stream of consciousness". It is hard to tell when the mother is speaking and when it is the author. What really troubled me, is that these people have very little in common in most people who are struggling to care for a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease. Thousands, probably hundreds of thousands of people do not have the resources to quit working, keep their home, hire full time care to care for their loved ones frequently eat in restaurants, take dance lessons, etc--without complaining constantly that they just can't take it anymore. While the author obviously adores her mother, she expresses very little concern about what her mother is going through, except during the last few days. She does try to relieve her mother's anxiety by taking her phone calls throughout the day and night. On the positive side, this is a very quick read.
Report
Susan Scott
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on 18 April 2015
Verified Purchase
Beautifully written, poetic language. I found this book very comforting to read.
Report
J. Kaye Smith
3.0 out of 5 stars Good story line but could have been better.
Reviewed in the United States on 19 August 2017
Verified Purchase
I would have preferred a bit more explanation to the ending of the book. I understood the daughter's mood and the reason for it... but felt I was left hanging in the air with exactly HOW the story came to an end. All in all, it was well written and I found several poignant moments in her interaction with her mother.
Report
Lyn Guy
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on 21 February 2016
Verified Purchase
An amazing and often funny mother-daughter story
Report
Nancy D.
1.0 out of 5 stars Very disappointing and depressing
Reviewed in the United States on 10 February 2017
Verified Purchase
SPOILER ALERT
I did rate this on my Kindle, but will do so now - a while after finishing it. My husband is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. i read the reviews which included Joy! and I think up lifting, humorous, etc. That sounded good to me, so I bought it and sent a copy to my daughter. We need positive emotions and outlooks.
This book was a huge disappointment to me. I found it very depressing. I should have quit reading it - but I always finish books, it was short, and I was sure the author would end on a positive note. Instead she described in great detail the last moments in the last days of her mother. Anyone who finds this book joyful and uplifting must not be a caregiver of someone they love very much who has this terrifying disease. I am so blessed, as my husband is happy and cheerful and we can still find things to laugh about. Maybe it's me, but I do not find reading about the sad and depressing parts help me to deal with this. I am glad if others do.
Report
Joyce wirth
4.0 out of 5 stars Heartwrenching then....release
Reviewed in the United States on 26 January 2017
Verified Purchase
Why did I choose this? It brought to mind all those strong women I've known. Many of them lingered, very few went quickly. I don't know if I have the strength to care for someone's last days, months/ years, would I be able to do so? Initially I would have said, no, but thinking about the love they gave to me, I changed my answer to a yes.
So sad that she was left to do it all by herself. Very courageous, she herself going at it alone. Memories will always mold us, we endure and we go on. That's what love is.
A quick read for me. Parts reminding me of similar events. Bring some tissues, you'll need them.
Report
Oona
4.0 out of 5 stars This is a very short book and an easy read, so it would be a good choice ...
Reviewed in the United States on 26 January 2017
Verified Purchase
A poignant and personal look at the road ahead of those who take on care giving for a family member with dementia. This is a very short book and an easy read, so it would be a good choice to give to friends and family members who wonder why the care giver is so tired, emotionally drained, and even -- every so often -- uplifted by the experience.
Report
Misty
4.0 out of 5 stars Sad
Reviewed in the United States on 1 April 2019
Verified Purchase
As I read this very thought provoking story, I was taken back to times with my mother and an aunt who suffered similar ends. Although I found this to be very sad, I couldn't stop reading. I enjoyed and hated this book, but will suggest it to my friends.
Report
Msgale
4.0 out of 5 stars Turkwink
Reviewed in the United States on 23 June 2017
Verified Purchase
A must read for anyone who is caring for someone with Alzheimer's. Gives a loving look at a relationship between a mother and her middle aged caregiver daughter. Helped me with my caring for my own 89 year old mother who is just starting her venture into the unknown world of brain disease.
Report
Lyla Mollard
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully Magical and Filled with a Rare Kindness
Reviewed in the United States on 16 May 2016
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I loved this book. The author takes the cruelty of dementia and turns it inside out creating something truly beautiful. While examining the arduous marathon that is caring for an aging parent she captures the peculiar language revealed through conversations with her mother. The nonsense begins to make sense.
This book is smart, wise and at times magical. Several passages I read over and over and they just kept getting better. She captures both the naive innocence of her child self and the seasoned intelligent adult woman she became.
Report
CG
1.0 out of 5 stars I wish this book had been free.
Reviewed in the United States on 10 December 2017
Verified Purchase
This was the first book I've ever read that I couldn't wait for it to be over and done with. I almost stopped reading it several times because it jumped all over the place and was so incredibly hard to follow. Half the time I couldn't figure out if she was talking about her own thoughts or her mother's ramblings. The jumping from the recent days to her childhood and back was distracting and irritating. I did not enjoy having to constantly try to figure out where the author was going in her narrative. It wasn't informative, other than describing how muddled an Alzheimer's patient's mind gets. That could have been accomplished in one short chapter.
I read for enjoyment or education. This book was neither.
Report
cglasoe
4.0 out of 5 stars What it must be like...
Reviewed in the United States on 19 July 2017
Verified Purchase
This is how I would imagine life to be like taking care of a parent who is fading away. Some of her descriptions in the book are brilliant...her use of words in the descriptions is clever and so spot on.
Report
Lilybug
3.0 out of 5 stars Actually a 3 is probably a bit high. The ...
Reviewed in the United States on 4 February 2017
Verified Purchase
Actually a 3 is probably a bit high. The way the author skipped all over the place was really disconcerting. It was a real downer, as could be expected with the subject but I can't say I would tell anyone to read it.
Report
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful Work of Art
Reviewed in the United States on 4 May 2016
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
This book is a beautiful literary work about the human experience and family. I read it in one sitting, unable to put it down. As a work of art it will appeal to anyone with its raw honesty and celebration of family bonds. It is a teacher instructing us that if we learn to listen carefully to those living with dementia; we will find that they are still there and their words can be profound.
Report
Joanne
3.0 out of 5 stars Very gripping.
Reviewed in the United States on 2 April 2017
Verified Purchase
This is a bitter sweet story that shows the challenges of caring for an aging parent with Alzheimer's. It's sad but precious. I'm caring for my Mom right now and understand the mixed feelings of the caregiver.
Report
Marianne Sciucco
5.0 out of 5 stars A touching insight into Alzheimer's
Reviewed in the United States on 25 March 2017
Verified Purchase
Most people think all is lost when they hear "Alzheimer's." In Cathie Borrie's beautiful memoir we learn this is not so, that there are still many happy moments to enjoy, and meaningful memories to be made. This is the story of the love between a mother and daughter, and everything in between. Recommended for those on the Alzheimer's journey, and anyone with an interest in this disease.
Report
Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars The Long Hello
Reviewed in the United States on 10 August 2018
Verified Purchase
Tragic,poetic& beautiful. It made me cry. As I am old myself, it was quite frightening so I would not recommend it to an older person.
Report
Carol B. Mattison
3.0 out of 5 stars It was a quick read. I really expected a ...
Reviewed in the United States on 19 July 2017
Verified Purchase
It was a quick read . I really expected a little more deapth but did take away some tips for dealingg with Alzheimers.
Report
Daughter of joy
2.0 out of 5 stars but I would not recommend it to anyone
Reviewed in the United States on 26 January 2017
Verified Purchase
This was rather confusing to read. I was never absolutely sure who was speaking or if it was the present or something from the past that the author was remembering. I did finish the book, but I would not recommend it to anyone. I am glad it was short.
Report
christine m connolly
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting read on her mother's dying
Reviewed in the United States on 10 May 2017
Verified Purchase
It was descriptive, revealing of character and very sad. Possibly inspiring to someone in similar situation, but not for me.
Report
Lucy Ijams
4.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written!
Reviewed in the United States on 4 September 2017
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
A beautifully written memoir of an unmarried daughter's journey into dementia care for and with her mother.
Report
amaryllis music studio
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Reviewed in the United States on 31 January 2017
Verified Purchase
Good, but not as goo as Still Alice.
Report
cathy gaal
2.0 out of 5 stars Confusing
Reviewed in the United States on 10 February 2017
Verified Purchase
Confusingly written, goes back & forth between present & past. Conversations confusing--(of course, she is using actual conversations she had with her demented mother, so no wonder they don't make sense--but gets old after a while.).
Report
Mandi
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm ready to buy my next book!
Reviewed in the United States on 3 December 2022
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Great quality. Quick shipping. I would definitely recommend buying their books.
Customer image
Report
Leah Callahan
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United States on 13 June 2016
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Keep and open mind and this book will reward you with increased understanding
Report
motherrath
2.0 out of 5 stars Not for caregivers
Reviewed in the United States on 28 January 2017
Verified Purchase
While some of the content was uplifting, this is not a good read if you are a care giver. The author's whole life is pretty depressing. I could not finish.
Report
Du Maurier
4.0 out of 5 stars Poignant, well. written. A must for careers ...
Reviewed in the United States on 25 April 2016
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Poignant, well.written. A must for careers and the general public!
Report
J. Stein
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully moving account
Reviewed in the United States on 28 January 2021
Verified Purchase
This is a wonderfully moving account of what it means to be a caregiver for someone with dementia.
Report
J Mooney Jr
2.0 out of 5 stars Not my cup of tea
Reviewed in the United States on 2 May 2017
Verified Purchase
I found her writing difficult to stay with. It was about her feeling sorry for herself and less about the journey.
Report
Enid S. Hernandez
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE
Reviewed in the United States on 29 July 2021
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
“…like a bird , head cricked, watches and listens for worms.” LOVE
Report
Grace Stuart
2.0 out of 5 stars Boring
Reviewed in the United States on 14 October 2016
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
boring -tedious
Report
Unknown
5.0 out of 5 stars The Long Hello
Reviewed in the United States on 24 January 2017
Verified Purchase
Easy to read. Kept me interested and finished in one sitting.
Respectful, peaceful. Brings out the reality in this awful disease.
Report
Frugal
1.0 out of 5 stars Just say NO!
Reviewed in the United States on 3 March 2017
Verified Purchase
Author jumps around to this, that and the other. Boring. Hard to follow.
Report
Linda S. Burhans
5.0 out of 5 stars love this book
Reviewed in the United States on 15 May 2016
Verified Purchase
This book touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Brought back many memories of my own mom Jo.
Report
KimK
5.0 out of 5 stars It's a Good One
Reviewed in the United States on 5 February 2017
Verified Purchase
Great book and a must read for anyone who has ever been in a caretaker role
Report
Donna Boyle
5.0 out of 5 stars Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's
Reviewed in the United States on 20 February 2015
Verified Purchase
I went through the same with my mother - amazing how similar are experiences were including the tattoo !
Report
Barb
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful read
Reviewed in the United States on 1 January 2017
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
One of the best books I've ever read.
Report
To see more, search
===
Ratings & Reviews
Profile Image for Sejin.
What do you think?
Rate this book
Write a Review
Friends & Following
No one you know has read this book. Recommend it to a friend!
Community Reviews
4.13
23 ratings5 reviews
5 stars
9 (39%)
4 stars
10 (43%)
3 stars
2 (8%)
2 stars
2 (8%)
1 star
0 (0%)
Search review text
Search review text
Filters
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Profile Image for Caroline.
Caroline
629 reviews
54 followers
Follow
August 6, 2019
This short book may not be entirely what you expect. Therefore there will be parts of it that may not do anything for you. Because I have a mother who is advancing in dementia, I was most engaged by the transcriptions of conversations she had with her mother - the confusion, the increasing presence of 'word salad' were quite familiar. Because I am NOT providing care to my mother, I also felt guilty that I wasn't doing for my mother what she did for hers, but at the same time it clearly ate her alive and I don't think I could survive that. I was less interested in the background about her childhood, her older brother, how she's tried to make a life and career for herself, although it did serve to make sense of conversations with her mother. I found the book worthwhile as a snapshot of a mind failing into dementia.
Like
Comment
Bryan
316 reviews
Follow
April 4, 2021
While some have panned it because of the back and forth and difficulty following, this is a poignant story of a person losing their mother, not just once, but two times. The chaos of the timeline is all too familiar to anyone who has cared for a person with Alzheimer’s. Not just visitors, but spent many hours in a day and over the course of years. What was striking to me is maybe the author is attempting to come to terms with her own life; the guilt, loss of a childhood, her brother, etc. is so telling. A good read but much different than expected.
1 comment
Like
Comment
Profile Image for Dani Chavez ♥.
Dani Chavez ♥
9 reviews
5 followers
Follow
January 8, 2026
This book is sweet and short and details the end of life care of the author's mother. This book reminded me of the end of life care of my grandmother, who would say and do similar things. This book is a sweet dedication to the author's mother, and narrates the bittersweet-ness of end of life care and dementia: the highs and the lows. I really enjoyed this read, and I think those who have gone through/witness a similar scenario would enjoy this.
Like
Comment
Profile Image for Jesse Ballenger.
Jesse Ballenger
80 reviews
7 followers
Follow
April 19, 2021
This might be the only dementia caregiver narrative I've read that I would recommend as just an excellent book for any reader.
audiobooks
Like
Comment
Profile Image for Lisa Weldy.
Lisa Weldy
295 reviews
10 followers
Follow
September 7, 2022
3.75 rounded up
Like
Comment
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
===
캐시 보리의 <긴 인사: 기억, 나의 어머니, 그리고 나> 요약과 평론
1. 도서 개요 및 저자 소개
<긴 인사: 기억, 나의 어머니, 그리고 나>는 간호사이자 공중보건학 석사, 그리고 법학 학위까지 취득한 독특한 이력의 저자 캐시 보리(Cathie Borrie)가 알츠하이머병을 앓는 어머니를 7년 동안 돌본 경험을 담아낸 회고록이다. 저자는 밴쿠버에서 간호사로 훈련받았으며 존스홉킨스 대학교에서 공중보건학 석사를 마쳤고, 크리에이티브 라이팅(문예창작)을 공부한 문학적 소양을 바탕으로 이 책을 집필하였다. 2015년에 처음 출간된 이 책은 단순한 간병 기록을 넘어 질병이 인간의 언어와 관계를 어떻게 재구성하는지를 시적으로 추적하여 학계와 평단의 찬사를 받았다.
2. 내용 요약
저자 캐시 보리의 어머니는 알츠하이머 진단을 받고 점차 기억을 잃어간다. 그러나 보리는 어머니의 인지 능력 저하를 단순한 상실이나 작별의 과정으로 보지 않는다. 책의 제목인 <긴 인사(The Long Hello)>가 암시하듯, 저자는 어머니의 변화를 새로운 형태의 만남이자 끊임없는 환대의 과정으로 받아들인다.
책은 크게 세 가지 축으로 구성된다. 첫째는 저자가 어머니와 실제로 나눈 짧은 대화의 녹음 기록이다. 둘째는 7년간의 고단한 간병 생활 속에서 저자가 겪은 정서적, 육체적 고뇌의 기록이다. 셋째는 어머니의 기억 속에 파편적으로 남아 있는 가족의 과거사에 대한 회상이다.
어머니는 친부의 알코올 중독, 형제의 이른 죽음, 이혼, 그리고 의붓아버지의 냉대 속에서 가족을 부양했던 강인한 존재였다. 그러나 알츠하이머가 진행되면서 어머니의 언어는 문법과 사회적 규범의 틀을 벗어나기 시작한다. 보리는 이러한 어머니의 자유연상과 독특한 말의 리듬에서 기묘한 시성과 지혜를 발견한다. 문법적으로는 해체되었으나 감정적으로는 지극히 솔직한 어머니의 단어들은 두 사람 사이에 새로운 소통의 통로를 열어준다.
간병의 과정이 늘 아름다웠던 것은 아니다. 저자는 외부 세계의 삶과 간병인으로서의 책임 사이에서 균형을 잡기 위해 처절하게 투쟁한다. 슬픔, 절망, 때로는 참을 수 없는 분노와 같은 어두운 감정들도 가감 없이 드러난다. 그러나 보리는 과거의 어머니 모습을 고집하기보다, 현재 변화하고 있는 어머니의 춤사위에 맞춰 자신의 스텝을 바꾸는 법을 배운다. 결국 이 책은 기억이 사라진 자리에서도 여전히 작동하는 인간의 상상력과, 육체의 쇠락 속에서도 지속되는 사랑의 영속성을 증명하며 마무리된다.
3. 심층 평론
첫째, 질병을 바라보는 패러다임의 전환
전통적인 치매 서사는 대개 환자가 정체성을 잃어가는 상실의 비극이나 간병인의 희생 스토리에 초점을 맞춘다. 그러나 <긴 인사>는 알츠하이머를 완전한 종말이 아닌, 관계의 형태가 전이되는 과정으로 재정의한다. 보리는 질병을 <작별(Goodbye)>의 연장이 아닌 <새로운 안녕(Hello)>의 시작으로 접근한다. 이러한 시각은 환자의 망상이나 반복적 언어를 교정해야 할 오류가 아니라, 그들이 거주하는 새로운 현실로 인정하고 그 세계 속으로 함께 걸어 들어가야 한다는 현대 존엄 케어의 핵심 가치와 맞닿아 있다.
둘째, 언어의 해체가 가져온 시적 구원
이 책의 가장 독창적인 문학적 성취는 어머니의 <조각난 언어>를 예술적 텍스트로 승화시킨 점에 있다. 알츠하이머 환자의 언어는 이성과 논리의 검열을 거치지 않기에 때로 극도로 솔직하고 직관적이다. 임종 무렵 기침으로 고통받는 어머니에게 저자가 가슴을 만지며 "그 안에 자비가 충분히 있나요?"라고 묻자 어머니가 "응, 엄마"라고 대답하는 대목은 이 책이 도달한 정서적 깊이를 보여주는 단적인 예다. 논리적 인과관계가 무너진 자리에서 피어난 자유연상과 은유는 그 자체로 한 편의 아름다운 시가 되며, 인간의 정신이 마지막 순간까지 창의성을 잃지 않는다는 역설을 보여준다.
셋째, 솔직한 내면 고백과 간병의 현실성
보리는 자신을 성인(聖人)처럼 묘사하지 않는다. 간병이라는 거대한 무게감 아래서 한 인간이 느끼는 고립감과 자아의 상실을 서슴없이 고백한다. 독자는 저자의 예술적이고 시적인 서술 속에서도 간병인이 겪는 물질적, 정신적 한계를 명확하게 읽어낼 수 있다. 이러한 입체적인 서술은 책의 감상주의적 흐름을 차단하고, 돌봄 노동이 지닌 숭고함과 잔혹함이라는 양면성을 균형 있게 전달하는 역할을 한다.
총평
캐시 보리의 <긴 인사>는 치매라는 비극적 소재를 다루면서도 종국에는 독자에게 기쁨과 연민의 감정을 남기는 기적적인 회고록이다. 저자는 기억의 소멸 속에서도 인간의 존재적 가치는 결코 훼손되지 않음을 어머니와의 대화를 통해 증명해 냈다. 이 책은 치매 환자를 둔 가족들에게는 깊은 위로의 서이자, 보건의료 전문가들에게는 치매 환자와 소통하는 법을 알려주는 철학적 지침서이며, 일반 독자들에게는 기억과 정체성, 그리고 사랑의 본질이 무엇인지 묻는 뛰어난 문학 작품이다. 질병의 고통 속에서도 인간성이 어떻게 빛날 수 있는지를 보여준 이 서사는 시대를 초월한 감동을 선비한다.
===
===
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기